


Hangnail (A Short Play)

by fandomlimb



Category: Original Work
Genre: Awkwardness, Dating, F/M, High School, Short play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 17:59:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10341156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomlimb/pseuds/fandomlimb
Summary: This is an original short play I wrote awhile back that I decided to post up here just for fun since I had one or two people ask me if I wrote any original work. In short: girl asks boy out on a date and busts up her fingernail. That's about it. (Definitely based on real life events!)





	

**Setting:  
** Hallway of a High School

 **Characters:**  
Maura -  16. Unsure of herself.  
Dan - 16. Friendly, a bit of a ‘mimbo’.  
Lydia - 16. Perky, beautiful.  
Mrs. Carlisle - 20s. Pregnant choral teacher.

* * *

 

_(Maura is waiting outside the chorus room, she is planning to ask Dan out after class lets out and is trying to be inconspicuous about waiting around for him. She is picking and chewing on her pinky fingernail)._

**Maura:** _(practicing)_ Hey, Dan. Oh, hey. Hi! What's up? Oh, hi Dan. Do you have a second?

_(The bell rings. Class lets out, we hear a rush of students. Maura scans the crowd, sees Dan and quickly looks back down at her nails. She doesn't look up when he passes)._

**Dan:** Hey, Maura.

 _(Maura looks up, smiles a little and continues to gnaw fingernail intensely. Dan_   _stops walking)._

Hey what's the matter with your finger?

 **Maura:** Oh nothing. I was just...I was so stupid, I slammed it in my car door the other day. And now I'm like totally obsessed and can't stop picking at it. See how the nail is all black and purple like that? I can sort of lift up half the fingernail off the skin. This happened to my friend, she was a ballerina and she didn't have any toenails for like five years, they kept falling out. Isn't that gross?

 **Dan:** Wow. _(He takes her pinky finger and examines it)._ Shouldn't you like, go to the ER or something?

 **Maura:** _(slightly alarmed by the physical contact)_ Umm, I mean it really doesn't hurt that bad anymore, it just looks kind of sick.

 **Dan:** _(looking closer)_ Yeah, this is the sickest thing I've ever seen.

 **Maura:** I know, it's like, barely hanging on but I just can't bring myself to yank it off.

 **Dan:** Want me to? _(He grins)._

 **Maura:** _(pulls hand away, laughs nervously)_  Oh, no. Definitely not. Thanks, though?  _(Beat)._ So...what's up?

 **Dan:** The weirdest thing just happened in chorus. Everyone, like, had this group therapy session and was all accusatory then crying. You know Evan? He's Mrs. Carlisle's assistant and he like freaked out in front of everybody. Apparently, there'd been all this unspoken tension and shit that he like..'couldn't hold in anymore'...First he said all this stuff about time signatures and then about Mrs. Carlisle giving up...it was so weird.

 **Maura:** Wait, is this because Mrs. Carlisle is pregnant?

 **Dan:** Mrs. Carlisle is pregnant? Since when?

 **Maura:** I don't know, since like, a few months? I mean, I _thought_ she was pregnant, she seems a lot puffier, right?

 **Dan:** Wow. Ok. Wow. Wow.

 **Maura:** What?

 **Dan:** Everything just makes so much more sense now.

_(Lydia has been making her way slowly down the hallway, eavesdropping a little, and joins into the conversation.)_

**Lydia:**  Hi!!

 **Dan:** Oh, hey.

 **Maura:** Hi...

 **Dan:** _(Turning to Lydia)._ Wasn't that so weird in chorus today? Who knew anyone could get so worked up over time signatures?

 **Lydia:** Oh my god, Evan is such a freak! You know that he's in love with Mrs Carlisle, right? Like, actually _in_ _love_ with her. Callie told me that's the REAL reason why he got so upset. Because she's going on pregnancy leave in a few months and he's afraid she'll like, forget about him or something? While she's nursing her baby? Yikes. Can you say hot for teacher? _(Giggles)._

 **Dan:** So you knew this whole time Mrs. Carlisle was pregnant?

 **Lydia:** Umm...yeah. Why else do you think she's been wearing caftans and screaming at us and then crying whenever we sing “My Heart Will Go On”?

 **Dan:** Oh. I thought she was just really into _Titanic._

 **Lydia:** _(Changing the subject, trying to play matchmaker)._ So what are you two doing this weekend? Do you have any plans? Me and Doug are going to hear this band play at East End on Saturday night. It's all ages but Doug can totally buy us drinks. He has a fake! Wanna come?

 _(At same time)_ **Dan:** Sure!       **Maura:** I don't think I can.

 **Maura:** _(to Dan)_  I mean, aren't you working at the video store on Saturday? I thought I saw your name on the schedule. And, I told Laura I'd cover for her that night.

 **Dan:** Oh yeah. Yeah, you're right.

 **Lydia:** Oh, that's too bad!

 **Maura:** Yup.

 **Dan:** _(sees Mrs. Carlisle)_ I'm gonna go congratulate Mrs. Carlisle. See ya. _(He exits)._

_(Beat)._

**Lydia:** Sooooo....?

 **Maura:** Ugh. No, I couldn't do it.

 **Lydia:** What? Really? I saw you guys from down the hallway. Weren't you like, holding hands?

 **Maura:** No!

 **Lydia:** No wait, he totally was holding your hand.

 **Maura:** Uch no, he was just looking at my mutilated pinky.

 **Lydia:** Oh. _(Disappointed)._ Well, still. I was paying close attention to his body language when you two were talking – I just read all about this in _Cosmo_. Hold on. _(Gets out her magazine)._ Ok. Was he making eye contact?

 **Maura:** I guess so, yeah.

 **Lydia:** Ok, that's a good sign. It says that, “If he makes direct eye contact and holds your gaze, he is trying to show that he's interested. A quick wink indicates a desire to get to know you better. Also, take note of changes in pupil size. Engorged pupils _(she giggles)_ express heightened physical interest.” So, did you notice any _engorgement_ of his “ _pupils”?_

 **Maura:** Oh, cut it out.

 **Lydia:** Sorry. Ok. Stance. “A guy who is standing _erectly_ _(she giggles)_ with his chest out and his hands at his side is showing others that he is a confident alpha male looking for a suitable companion.” Hmmm, I don't really think of Dan as an alpha male, do you? Plus he's always sort of slouching. And staring at the ceiling.

“If he has his arms folded across his chest, it may signal that he is insecure and uncomfortable with himself. A closed stance shows that this guy is not ready for a relationship."

Hm. Well, his arms definitely weren't folded, so that's good. From where I was, it looked like his legs and feet were sort of angled toward the chorus room, but his torso and arms were definitely more towards you. So that means that at least 50% of his body was interested in you. For sure.

 **Maura:** I don't know. These things are so, like...Me and Dan are friends, right? I mean, we get a long, we work together a lot, I don't want to make it weird.

 **Lydia:** Yeah, and who got him hired at the store so you could work shifts together in the first place? I'm so onto you.

 **Maura:** What? He likes movies, my parents own a movie store. It was a completely logical course of action.

 **Lydia:** Logical shmogical. Just admit it. You have a major hard on for him!

 **Maura:** Ew, no. Don't say that.

 **Lydia:** Fine. You are...smitten, besotted, in looove.

_(Maura doesn't like being teased)._

Listen, Before I started dating Doug, I was the exact same way, totally petrified to make a move. And then when I finally did, it was like, the easiest thing in the world. So don't be scared.

 **Maura:** I'm not scared.

 **Lydia:** Don't look, but he's coming back... Maura, really, you just have to do it. Now. Stop over-thinking everything and just....gahhh. _(Gives Maura a hug)._ Good luck! _(She hurries away)._

_(Dan approaches)._

**Dan:** Where's Lydia going?

 **Maura:** Oh! Hi. Again. Ummm...she forgot her locker combination. For her gym clothes. They're in her locker. The other locker, I mean, not the gym locker.

_(Silence as they walk down the hall together. Maura stops)._

**Maura:** Hey Dan, can I talk to you for a second?

_(Dan turns, slightly surprised, but with his normal bemused expression.)_

You see, I'm not very good at this. But, I like you.

_(A beat.)_

**Dan:** Like, as a boyfriend-girlfriend thing?

 **Maura:** Um...yeah, kinda. You know, like, I dunno. I just mean if you wanted to go out sometime.

 **Dan:** Oh. ( _Beat)._ Well, I'm not really interested in a relationship right now.

 **Maura:** Ok, great. Fine. See ya. _(She leaves quickly down the hallway, trying to get away as fast as possible. Dan catches up with her)._

 **Dan:** Hey, wait.

 **Maura:** _(Trying very hard not to cry in front of him)._ Sorry, I told you I wasn't good at this kind of thing.

 **Dan:** Wow. I mean, I don't want to hurt your feelings. I mean, you're really nice. I just don't like you. Like that.

 **Maura:** No, I get it. Totally. Totally.

 **Dan:** Ok, so we're cool?

 **Maura:** Oh yeah! Totally. _(She turns again and trips)._ Ouch, ow ow ow ow. Crap.

 **Dan:** Are you ok?

 **Maura:** Crap crap crap.

 **Dan:** What happened?

 **Maura:** Sorry, it's my nail. It ripped out.

 **Dan:** Ouch. Do you need to go to the nurse?

 **Maura:** No, I'm fine. _(Dan helps her up)._

 **Dan:** You sure?

 **Maura:** Yeah, don't worry about me.

 **Dan:** Here, let me get your bag for you at least.

 **Maura:** No, really, I'm fine. I'm just going to...go. I forgot something, back by the chorus room. I'll see you around. _(She turns to leave)._

 **Dan:** Ok, bye.

_(Maura walks down the hallway until she is out of sight of Dan and plops down, crying)._

_(Mrs. Carlisle leaves the chorus room and sees her)._

**Mrs Carlisle:** Hello?

_(Maura doesn't hear her)._

**Mrs. Carlisle:** I'm sorry, but do you have a hall pass? You can't just be sitting out here, the bell just rang. Excuse me, did you hear what I just said? _(Sees that Maura is crying)._ Oh dear oh dear. _(She pulls a pack of tissues from out of her bra. Taps Maura on the shoulder)._ Excuse me, do you want a tissue?

 **Maura:** Oh. Thanks.

 **Mrs Carlisle:** Everything ok?

 **Maura:** Yes, I just, hurt my finger that's all. I tripped and smashed it all up. _(She breaks down again in sobs)._

 **Mrs Carlisle:** Oh dear oh dear. You're not in choir are you? I recognize you from around the hall.

 **Maura:** No, I'm not. I'm in band. But I'm friends with Lydia and Dan.

 **Mrs Carlisle:** Ahh. _(Mrs Carlisle slowly lowers herself down to sit next to Maura, heaving a bit from the effort)._

 **Maura:** Sorry, you don't have to sit down. I'm fine, really.

 **Mrs Carlisle:** It's ok. Let me take a look. Ouch. That's a clean break right there.

 **Maura:** Yeah, I was just...talking to Dan and I tripped and smashed it. It's fine, I'll be fine. The nail was about to come off anyway.

 **Mrs. Carlisle:** I think I have an ice pack in my purse. My mother has been sending me care packages like I'm at sleep-away camp. “Expect anything, especially when you're expecting!” _(She gets a break apart ice pack from her bag)._ All yours.

 **Maura:** Thanks.

_(Beat)._

**Maura:** Congratulations, on being pregnant I mean. When's the baby due?

 **Mrs Carlisle:**  Five and a half months!

 **Maura:** Wow. Is it your first?

 **Mrs Carlisle:** Yes, yes it is.

 **Maura:** Well, I hope it's not the worst. I mean, like, first is the worst, second is the best...I hope it's the best.

 **Mrs Carlisle:** _(Smiles)._ Thanks. That's very sweet. Gum? _(Maura shakes her head no)._ So you're friends with Dan Sylvester?

_(Maura nods)._

Nice kid. A little vacant, but nice. I dated a boy just like him in high school. Oh! Please don't tell him I said that.

 **Maura:** I won't. 

 **Mrs Carlisle:** I forget sometimes. I've only been teaching high school for two years. It's hard sometimes. It's really hard. Sometimes I think I'd be better off teaching Kindergartners.

 **Maura:** Yeah. Maybe we're not so different from them. I mean, I just hurt my pinky and I've been crying like a two-year old.

 **Mrs Carlisle:** Hm. Sometimes a cry is what you need, right?

 **Maura:** Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

 **Mrs Carlisle:** Well, this is my lunch and planning period, so I'm going to head out. Would you mind giving me a hand up?

 **Maura:** Oh, of course. _(She helps her up)._ Thanks again, for the ice pack.

 **Mrs Carlisle:** Not a problem at all. Take care. And I'll see you around with Dan and Lydia! Maybe you'd be interested in joining choir? I may be in need of a new teaching assistant.

 **Maura:** Oh, no, thanks, but I really can't sing!

 **Mrs Carlisle:** Anyone can sing. I don't know where they teach you all that fallacy. Everyone is born with the potential to sing, every living thing on the earth sings. It's like breathing. 

 **Maura:** Oh no, I mean it. This is years of me standing in front of the bathroom mirror holding a comb for a microphone and screeching my guts out talking. And also my brother telling me to be shut up.

 **Mrs Carlisle:** Well, my door is always open.

 **Maura** : Thanks.

_(Mrs Carlisle leaves)._

_(Maura collects her things and hums to herself)._

**END**

 


End file.
